Vacation over.

Here I am again with the usual resolution never to make that drive by road again - it always lasts until I consider the options the next time.

A very intense fortnight with our entire family and Georgie's entire family and various friends of both parents for the Naming. The boys are now well and truly named and the young prince, formerly known as Sandy, has decided he would like to be Alex and his mother would rather like to be Tabitha. It brought up a lot of stuff!!

It was all very lovely as well as being intense, and I had some First experiences.

Here they are, not necessarily in order of event but as they come to mind.

1) I discovered Compeed. Now this scientific medical marvel will transform a heavily blistered foot into one that can be walked on without pain whilst eliminating the danger of gangrene. I got the HUGEST blister pounding the sizzling pavements of Bristol in search of Banksy (well, gosh there are 4 Bristol City Museums and Art galleries madam... and, yes, they're all up hills...) It was worth it. Couldn't take photos sadly - not allowed flash.

Anyway, Alex-Sandy has appropriated my camera and filled the memory. I suppose I'll get it back eventually.

2) I swallowed my first oyster. The jury is still out on that experience. I've eaten them well-cooked in steak pie before but though this one was supposed to have been cooked I didn't like the feel of it in my mouth. Sluggish. Soft. Shan't be envying any gulls.

3) Visited the Eden Project, which I have done before but this time I got further than the restaurant and gift shop. The first time I went I was with my daughter-in-law and we spent such a long time talking over wine and salad we forgot to visit the biomes. It's a lot bigger now than it was then (5 years ago I think) and extremely crowded. We had to queue for everything, including lunch. The tropical biome was impressive but as the day was stinking hot the mediterranian bubble was cooler inside than out.

4) On the way down I stopped in Monmouth and saw the 12th century Mappa Mundi & the chained library. The cathedral was so wonderfully cool and the heat outside so cruelly hot at the time I thought I might sleep there along with the effigies of crusaders and knights. I stopped in Ludlow and at Tintern and browsed happily along the Wye valley knowing I was still en route but avoiding the excitement of Birmingham traffic.

5) On the way back I had finally allowed myself to be talked into travelling with Jane the Satnav lady and am completely charmed. My ex was also impressed and like all men who love gadgets was wondering if he could justify getting one. He hardly travels fUrther than 10 miles in any direction nowadays though so probably not. His first comment: 'At last a woman who only speaks when she has something useful to say.'

With two daughters, a wife and an Ex he's living dangerously coming out with that sort of remark.

Nothing else new to this wordly-wise granny. I had a wonderful B&B and learned a lot about the underbelly of Cornish life. The landlady's daughter is being bullied by local girls who gave her such hell at school she had to leave so now goes to a school in the next town, but she's still jumped on when walking from her bus to home and kicked. These charming specimins of femininity have also burned the faces of fourteen year old boys in the skate board park with lighters. Nobody seems to be able to do anything about it. The Head of the school washes her hands of it, the police have never got enough witnesses. The girls are third generation scumbag families who pick fights in the pubs at night - the mothers that is. The daughters eventually make their way up the ladder and break away from it all by marrying drug dealers. As Costa and Georgie have both had their cars trashed whilst in Cornwall I am SOOOO glad to be back in Forres. My verdict is as ever - bits of England are very nice but much too crowded.

The Lakes and moors I saw from the M6 looked empty and beautiful 'tis true.

This little town looked beautiful when I arrived after 500 miles of hard road (I stopped somewhere in Shropshire.) The High Street was calm and pretty with its summer flower baskets, the beautifully manicured lawns in front of the church edged with very healthy looking annuals of every colour. It seems to have rained a lot upp this end of the world.

There was Karting for Alex and the Flambards Experience (roller coasters and demon drops and so forth) and a world of babydom which will eventually find its way in pictures to this place. Today I have to chill, take baths - several I think - and sort clothes.

The car needs attention too. It limped rather on the home run. It had been grumpy about the 750 mile drive down when all it was expecting last Monday week was a Tesco expedition (yes, yes, I anthropomorphosise my car). On the way back - before we got to Bristol airport to unload the flyers - it started coughing and The Light came on. I have no idea what this light means, something to do with 'engine management' but, whatever, it flashed constantly for the next 650 miles and the engine started to feel as if it had fur balls it needed to get rid of. It lost power just when I was about to do something essential like overtake farm machinery and altogether was a bit of a drag, but we made it. I suppose it has to go into the garage on monday. I'll also have to get the gull pooh off it. Hayle gulls have unerring aim and a very dodgy diet. They are (I swear) twice as big as gulls here and have warning notices about themselves all over the coastal towns. They'll lift food from your mouth if you don't get it in fast enough (wish I'd thought of that before I popped the oyster in come to think of it).