Important Advances in Science

Last year I discovered the wonders of Compeed ‘Invisible relief for blisters’ - surely a modern miracle? This year I have experienced the amazing properties of ‘nail hardener.’ If ever a product description deserved an award for accuracy this is it. My nails were a bit on the flaky side and the split in one (think I’ve told that tale somewhere) was refusing ever to let the two halves unite so with some scepticism I bought a bottle of this wonder worker stuff. Three months of applications later and I suddenly awaken to the need to buy heavy-duty sandpaper rather than a polite emery board to keep the talons to a length that won’t scare young children. I have the impression my nails would soon rival any Chinese Emperor, that were I strong enough in other ways they could pick up a tractor, and certainly no amount of gardening is going to even bend them. If things continue in this way I shall need a rasp, or perhaps a blacksmith.