Thank Creation for books.

I took books for the journey but couldn't get into either of them so on the down train I read Sandy's homework book, Michael Morpurgo's 'Private Peaceful' in which nothing nice happens at all only sadness shading into tragedy. Why do people write these mind-darkening soul-destroying books for children? At least in Harry Potter there is the fight between light and dark with humour, heroism, comradeship - and hope, always hope. However, my poet daughter tells me teens need this cathartic stuff and maybe that's true because Sandy handed it to me with enthusiasm saying it was a really good book. He seemed surprised when I groaned continuously about being depressed by it. Once again I reach that 'what do I know?' moment.

In Hayle, on the family bookshelves, I found 'Notes at an Exhibition' by Patrick Gale which the rest of the world will have read years ago (a Richard and Judy choice) but I missed. I really enjoyed it. I loved the non-linear way in which the tale unfolds, tantalising bits revealed then left hanging. I loved the light brush strokes with which he paints in the painful progress of the bipolar artist's life, the suffering it brings her and those close to her, mostly her children, who (mostly) survive her madness thanks to their stable father. It'ss set in the part of Cornwall I was living in fwhilst I read it so that helped too.

When I got home, with time and space to focus, I changed my mind about one of my holiday reading books and am now smitten by ‘Dark Matter” by Juli Zeh. Certainly not my usual sort of crime novel, it gave me lots to think about in the fields of thought I most like to explore: human consciousness, existence, reality. What is reality? Are there multiple universes in which everything that can happen does? I tend to think, and maybe hope, that this is the case. It ties in with a lot of philosophies; the wheel that we are attached to until we have experienced and understood all consequences and facets of our actions and finally become ‘enlightened.’ Whatever that means. I see enlightenment quite literally as a dark sky slowly lit by stars which appear one at a time until the whole sky is light enabling us to see all levels of existence.

Gross over simplification, but what can you do when trying to describe the ineffable?

On another level entirely today I looked up Marian Keyes whose books I have steadfastly refused to read because I saw her as the initiator of chick-lit and not worthy of my time. She is (as so often proves true of people whose work I sniff at - look at Catharine Cookson and Barbara Cartland) a very interesting person, also beset by deep depressions.

Perhaps it’s a prerequisite of a prolific writer or artist or actor or genius to be able to go down into these dark spaces almost to the point of death to find the core of being that sustains them.

'Pain is inevitable but suffering' is optional MK says. I think that's arguable - some suffering can’t be avoided by thinking yourself out of it, like grief at loss. Still, there is a truth there that can be applied to many daily situations. Do I really have to feel as bad about what is happening to me in this moment? It's a question worth asking myself frequently.

The other quote she offers is something Winston Churchill said: 'if you're going through hell - keep going.' I like that a lot. It has humour.