email down & Spice/thyme theory.

Message to anyone who wants to contact me: my email is down and has been for 36 hours (maintenance they claim which surely means they are improving it, which just as surely means it will be a guddle when it gets going again.)

In the meantime try this :

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A129430

here's some of it:

Much like electrons, chickens come and go from area to area, zipping in and out at the speed of light (or the speed of chickens in this case). One might ask how it is that a farmer is able to keep the chickens that he owns. Again, much like electrons, chickens are attracted to a farm-like environment. While electrons rotate around a central proton, occasionally escaping to another atom, the same is true for chickens. Chickens and electrons are subject to a probability cloud. While the number of chickens at a given farm may fluctuate, it always remains relatively close to a standard number. The exact mathematics which can be used to approximate this chicken population belongs to a special theory of trigonometric mathematics developed by Father Eghed of the Episcopal Churches of Fried Chicken. This special mathematical theory, based on the earlier works of Sir Issac Newton, is known as Cluculas.

This brings us to the ground breaking experimental work of Colonel Finneus T. Sanders of the U.S. Department of Advanced Research of Poultry Agency (DARPA). His use of the underground super conducting super collider facilities in Kentucky resulted in the formulation of his Spice/Thyme theory as well as the release of nearly 40,000 rads of radioactive coolant into the Kentucky ground water supply. Col. Sanders was awarded the Noble Peace Prize for his humanitarian endeavors in the field of chicken acceleration and collision.