Robins, doctors and sheriffs.

All very Christmas-card-with-robins, also one-foot-wrong-and-you'll-end-up-in-plaster here at the moment. I would like to light a Solstice bonfire tomorrow and am wondering how to do it - a very small one in a flower pot?

Thank you Gillian for your invitation - I think you're right g'son does need distracting and I wish we were closer. He would admire your toe - has an interest in all things surgical at the moment. Travelling in the car is a problem though - causes pain. There's a polar bear in a nearbye wildlife park who must be enjoying the present conditions. Maybe we'll get out to see her one day. For the moment he's cheerful to have been released. Fingers crossed.

It's been an interesting interlude in the Chinese curse sense (May you live in interesting times.) The most alarming discovery being that orthopaedic specialists round here really don't see 'the whole person.' Bandying words like 'somatised' around I thought they knew what they meant but no - they still believe he is 'putting it on.' 'Oh this isn't a mental illness, it's a cry for help!' one exclaimed. Heaven help the NHS if they get a case of Munchhausens or body dysmorphia. They will have amputated all limbs in less time than it takes to tell.

A cry for help it undoubtedly is but Sandy doesn't know that, and quite honestly we are at a loss - even knowing the problems how can we help? We can't just confront him with what we do now suspect, that it's tied up with the guilt and fear and anger he feels around his dad. To him the pain is 100% real and physical anyway.

It took me on a less than nostalgic trip down memory lane to 40 years ago and doctors who told me my asthma was 'psychosomatic' in the days when that was a buzz-word. They also misunderstood the meaning and felt I could 'rise above it' or control it in some way. 30 years on I found myself explaining to a doctor that the asthma was worse again because I had been especially stressed, only to be firmly chided: 'Asthma is nothing to do with your state of mind. It's a purely physical conditon.' Hey ho. A few docs along the way have actually listened to me and they were the real healers (even if they were repressing their own opinions out of politeness!)

I'm quite surprised my daughter doesn't have a somatised condition right now - she did have trouble writing the last horrendous £12,530 cheque for the divorce and custody proceedings! Her hand kept shaking.

Talking about court cases, I was pleased to hear that justice has been done vis-a-vis the bookshop up the road. The sheriff found in favour of the claimant, ordered payment, extra payment to him for time and stress caused, and imposed yet another sum for court expenses. The present owner was given a wigging (must be where the phrase comes from?) for not understanding basic business principles. One of which should be writ large in all the books on business practice - don’t get involved with Mr. Toad.

It won’t make any difference of course, she will continue to be in awe of his massive intellect (sarcasm alert) but it’s a heavy price to pay for stupidity.