New and true.

True - and now for the urban myth collection.

A Jack Russell ran down a rabbit hole, one of many in a field full of such holes. His owner waited but the dog failed to emerge. He was wearing a harness so the possibility was strong that he had got caught on a root underground. (Memo to J R owners: don’t put harnesses on them.) The fire brigade was called and many rabbits found their burrows extended by spades, but no J R was discovered.

Darkness fell and the fire brigade went home. The wife of one of the firemen (a volanteer) was so upset at the thought of the wee dog lying trapped underground she wandered the field calling and began praying, as one does, to a God she wasn’t sure she believed in. The next day the SSPCA came to look with no success and another night passed. The lady continued to walk the field and started to make bargains with the deity: ‘If this little dog can be rescued I won’t have any birthday presents or cards this year’ (her 50th birthday) ‘The money my friends might have spent on me I’ll ask them to donate to charity.’

On the second day since its disappearance the dog finally started to whine and the farmer who owned the field brought a digger. Happy ending. Dog extracted. (Of course it will be down the next hole at the first opportunity. J R’s never learn, I know, I had one. )

The fireman’s wife duly told all her friends of her bargain and she received no presents or cards - except one. This one had been bought three months earlier by a friend who saw it during a shopping expedition and told her husband she must buy it for A’s birthday. ‘Why?’ he asked. “Her birthday’s not for ages.’ ‘I don’t know.’ she replied, ‘I just must have this one.’

It was a very ugly card with a bad drawing of a Jack Russell, it’s mouth covered in chocolate, sitting by a plate on which lay a few crumbs of the stolen chocolate cake. The title on the back of the card was: ‘Evidence.’