We do have some rum customers. The latest is a small bandy Highlander of uncertain age (but no spring chicken) missing his two front teeth, who goes to Zumba (whatever that is) who has been popping in frequently asking for something to liven him up. He talks, asks questions I can't answer, talks, talks, and talks. When other customers come in he slides off to one side to 'look around' until they're gone then comes bouncing up to the counter again to get on with whatever he was saying. 


He struck lucky one day when N was in charge. His questions were overheard by a young French woman, just arrived in town, who offered to do some kinetic testing for him there and then. She took the potions N had suggested (more or less the same stuff as I had pulled out) held them in her hand, muscle-tested, etc. etc. and came up with a couple which he duly bought. Then he startled her by kissing her hand gallantly and asking her to the pub. 


N took her home instead to introduce her to his wife who is a french speaking  Belgian so she was saved from - an interesting experience possibly. 


To begin with he wasn't very clear about what it was he actually wanted apart from something to liven him up (this was voiced vaguely and followed by a bit of a mumble I never could catch) but he bought the multivitamins  I recommended in desperation, then asked me if they would work by the evening. Er... no....they might take a week or so to have any effect... He took them home anyway, came back a few days later saying they were no good but he'd found a witch on the internet who was recommending Horny Goats Weed. I started to get the idea. It was one particular part of him he want livening up. 


We ordered the Horny Goats Weed so the ladies at the Zumba class had better watch out.